If only I was stronger

[Kaslin]

If Only I Was Stronger

Kaslin had finished in the Dojo, yes he had gotten into a few fights before but this was the first time in a dungeon of sorts where he had actually fought back. He was scared out of his mind and the pains in his body still caused him to walk slowly and let out a few heavy breathes as he looked up at the Regigas statue.

His expression was solemn and he didn't really move much once he had gotten into place, he laid down on a bench and simply looked out at the town square. It was humiliating as he thought back on his attempt at fighting in the dojo, he was forced to run from the first Pokemon he saw and almost got knocked out by a Caterpie on the next floor.

If his siblings had of seem him he would never live it down, closing his eyes he just started to sob. "I'm never going to get stronger... Not if I keep being a scaredy cat. But everything is so scary in the dungeons... I don't want to be alone."

Vanitas

[Vanitas]

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}

Since the mission board was rather empty, only fillled with trivial tasks that he could not be bothered with today, Van decided to leave the guild for today and train in the dojo once again as to not waste the day with doing nothing. It was hard for him to relax without accomplishing at least one thing a day, so training in the dojo was his task for today. He did not haste though, calmly walking through the streets of beautiful Andalusst. 

Eventually, he came by the Regigias statue, its purpose beyond him as it always was. He had stopped asking about it a long time ago, accepting it as a symbol he did not grasp. Besides, there was something far more interesting in close proximity that caught his attention instead. It was the Swinub he had met a few days ago along an Absol, though the interaction had been rather... non-existent. Kaslin was the name, right?

He looked rather solemn, just like he did last time to be honest, just sitting there and staring at the statue. At first, Van folded his arms, looking at him with slight bewilderment. But then, when Kaslin started to sob, he was startled and put his arms back into a normal position. Taking a step forward, he was actually about to ask him if something was the matter, but then he heard Kaslin whisper to himself. It kind of made the Sneasel understand what was going on.

He felt weak, forlorn and was scared. Being an explorer was indeed a demanding role to perform, especially for souls filled with incertitude. Often, Van believed only his own cold shell keeping everything within allowed him to continue fighting. But not everyone could have such a hard core like him, especially if they were not of the dark type. It appeared the Swinub had not found his right impetus yet, making him doubt himself.

Calmly, Van sat down next to him and leaned over, looking at him with a mixed expression of both worry and goodwill. "Hey... are you alright.  Explorer Kaslin was it?" He asked him, wondering if there was something he could do or say to cheer him up again. Well... there was one thing he thought about, but... it had to be a mutual desire. He would help Kaslin with overcoming his fears, but only if he wanted to. 

[Kaslin]

If Only I Was Stronger

Sobbing still Kaslin thought back to his fights in the Dojo and even his first dungeon mission in the Meadow. He has run away from all his recent fights, only ever staying to fight one Pokemon, a tiny Caterpie who could barely fight back as much as he could and still... Still he wasn't truly strong enough to fight it, he blacked out before he even finished the battle. Why did he even bother? What was the point in him even going to the dojo, Kaslin knew that he was weak, he had always been weak.

Maybe he should just quit this stupid dream and go back to his parents, sure they'd be disappointed and would probably still make him do things and go to dungeons but at least he wouldn't be alone anymore. The tears slowly began to fall down his cheeks as he thought of his mom and dad, they always believed in him and thought he'd grow up to be strong and a great explorer but they were obviously wrong.

Suddenly he heard something next to him and when he looked over he noticed something/someone was leaning over him, jumping a little and slinking flatter on the bench he looked up at the Sneasel. Realizing that they had already met he wasn't as scared but he was still reserved as he looked up, nodding when the Pokemon asked if he was alright. "I'm... fine." He sniffed tried to wipe away his tears but his arms were too small, "What... What are you doing here? Vanitas..." He said the Pokemon's name quietly not wanting to be too forward, it wasn't like they were friends and he didn't want to jump to conclusions.

Vanitas

[Vanitas]

It had been just before Van had spoken his first words to the Swinub that he had noticed the tears of it running down its cheek. This did not make feel Van pity, but true concern. Tears were rare in this place, and Van had learned to hold them back himself quite a long time ago and find strength in his sorrow instead. If his disregard for acknowledgement was a healthy way to push himself forward that was.

It appeared that Van had accidentally startled Kaslin, despite him being as careful towards him as he could. Thankfully, the Swinub did not just run away, though its expression of uncertitude was also not that promising of a start. But at least, he responded to him this time, with actual words. He probably recognized him from their first 'interaction' in the guild, as he also appeared to remember his name. "Van is just fine." He offered Kaslin the nickname, a gesture of equanimity in his eyes.

Kaslin said he was fine? Well... Van did not believe that at all, causing him to frown briefly. "Huh... okay." He whispered to himself, briefly starring into the sky to think about what to do next. He was not very good at this, but he tried to remember from watching others doing social things. Luckily, Kaslin was more open this time, asking Van what he was doing here. "Actually, I was heading to the dojo to train, since the missions today are more a time waster than anything." He responded, followed by a chuckle.

Leaning over a little bit more, a briefly let his thoughts loose before tilting his head towards Kaslin again whiile shrugging. "You wanna come with me? You look like you could need an excitation. Perhabs a ground dungeon for type advantage." He offered him, his tone casual. Making not a big deal out of something was the best way, from what he had seen, to get someone to talk. Pressure and trepidation only made things worse after all.

[Kaslin]

If Only I Was Stronger

Kaslin knew that he wasn't being too convincing but he had never confined in someone before and he barely even know Van. No matter how nice the Sneasel was he wouldn't want to listen to his problems, it didn't matter anyway he was just a weakling. Kaslin froze as Van spoke more, he turned his head and looked at his acquaintance... "What?" Was he dreaming, was he actually going to take him with him into the dojo? Or was he going to play a prank on Kaslin and leave him to be alone with a bunch of ground type Pokemon.

Turning on the spot and looking at Van with one eye raised, "Why..." He lowered his head and looked at the bench, his foot was making a circle on the bench as he started to think. It would be so embarrassing... Kaslin wasn't a fighter and this Sneasel was obviously really good if he was going to the Dojo to train. Envious of Van his mind was telling him to go for it but his fear was holding him back.

"I...I'd just hold you back."

Vanitas

[Vanitas]

The surprise gracing Swinup's face when Van offered him to join was hardly a surprise, causing him to briefly smirk. Of course his offer had been genuine, but since Van and Kaslin did not know each other very much, he was not very surprised that the Swinub hesitated. It turned to him, asking him 'why' after a few more seconds of silence. "Why not?" He asked him back with an easygoing attitude, both showing confidence yet not wanting to force Kaslin to anything he did not want to do.

He observed Kaslin as he made circles with his feet, starring at the bench beneath him since he did not have the bravado to look the Sneasel in the eyes. Eventually, he spoke up again, and the words he spoke amused Van. "No you would not. That's a promise." He assured him with a slighty impish grin. Van felt way too strong and capeable of protecting Kaslin as to feel like he would drag him down. 

Shifting his body a little, he leaned against the back of the bench with his side, letting one arm dangle. Van was very relaxed, not only to alleviate the pressure on Kaslin, but also because he felt no pressure himself. "But it's up to you of course. Can't force you." Van added, shrugging once again. He would like to give the Kaslin a little self-esteem boost, but... he could of course not force. 

[Kaslin]

If Only I Was Stronger

Why did he want to help him? What would it do for him to take Kaslin along with him into a Dungeon or to the Dojo? Wasn't it obvious that Kaslin wasn't a fighter? Wasn't it obvious that he would hold him back? Or was it the fact that Van thought highly of himself, so highly that he believes he could do anything even with Kaslin holding him back. But the more Kaslin thought about it, the more his mind kept telling him to go for it, maybe this was the pick me up he needed to get him to start training, maybe this guy could help him reach this potential his parents said he had since birth?

Kaslin looked up at Van and gave him a slight nod, "I.. I would like that." Immediately looking back down, just in case Van started to laugh at him, maybe this was all a big joke and Kaslin had just fallen for it. "I.. I don't now any ground type or Ice type attacks though..." He said softly, hoping that Van wouldn't immediately regret this decision. "But I can learn, I just need to get stronger..."

He looked up at Van, he was so nice and he truly wasn't trying to force him he was actually being really really good about it. Maybe he was just trying to be a friend and maybe he should just go with it... Kaslin had never had friend before so maybe this would be good.

Vanitas

[Vanitas]

Once again, several moments of silence past by as Kaslin thought intensely about Van's offer. The Sneasel understood that there was a barrier of anxiety, hesitation and doubt Kaslin had to overcome within himself, so he gave him as much times as he needed. And his patience eventually payed off, causing the Sneasel to smile, showing a tiny bit of his teeth in the process. The Swinub had said he would like to, which delighted the Sneasel. "Splendid." He responded, slightly leaning towards Kaslin as he looked down at the bench again.

Hmm... so he did not know any ground or ice type moves? Definetly had to learn them as soon as possible. "Well... that's what the dojo is for, right?" He asked him rhetorically, not binding the Swinub had no such type advantage yet. "I suppose you have a couple of Normal type moves then?" He asked him once more, though Van was confident in the likelyhood that Kaslin had at least one offensive move. "Too bad they have no advantage against anything..." He whispered to himself, grabbing his chin as to think of what to do.

Regardless, Van was glad to hear that Kaslin was ready to learn, causing his grin to widen. "That's the spirit." He commented with a tone of encouragement. It was obvious to the Sneasel that there was a true explorer somewhere deep within the Swinub, and he felt like he had just caused the first crack in his shell of fear. Patience, amicability and sereneness; the 3 ingredients for helping someone who was uncertain about receiving help; and making friends in general.

Seeing Kaslin look up to him, it made Van scratch his chin briefly, like he was thinking about something. "Okay, I think I got a great idea. Let us take an electric dojo instead. After all, you are pretty much immune to that type, right? And I am not weak to it, which will allow us to spend maximum time in the dojo to power up. While our ice attacks won't be especially effective, once you learn a ground type move, you should conquer the dojo no problem." He held his tiny speech, explaining the Swinub with a tone of eagerness his idea.

"What do you think?" He asked him though, ready for any input he had. They could also enter a dojo where their ice attacks would simply tear everything apart. Though in Van's eyes, that was not a great representation of what true exploring could be.

[Kaslin]

If Only I Was Stronger

Looking back up at Van, a smile actually cracked on his face as the Pokemon continued to talk. Kaslin was actually starting to realize that this guy was actually incredibly nice, he wanted to help him and was willing to go to a Dungeon that would not affect Kaslin even if it will affect himself. "If... If you're sure. That would be nice... I.." Kaslin began to think for a second, "I know Mud Sport. I can help you too, so the electric attacks won't affect you as much either." He didn't look away but he bit his bottom lip, he wanted to help Van as much as he could if they were going into a dungeon. Even if that was all he could do, "I can tackle and Odor sleuth..."

Kaslin also had another ability, but the ability was lost on Kaslin as it only happened when he was in a tight spot and even then he usually blacked out as he used it or forgot about it. "I'd like to go to the Dojo with you. Thank you, I really want to get stronger but... I need help." he was still shy and the same old Kaslin but the stuttering and the awkward looking away was gone, Kaslin saw Van as a friend and not an enemy anymore. Someone he could talk to and they wouldn't turn around and laugh, Kaslin appreciated this.

Vanitas

[Vanitas]

Van was delighted to see the faint smile on Kaslin's face, making him relax even further, recognizing he had done a good job thus far. He just tried to be nice and courteous, which some pokemons appreciated and others did not. Despite his dark and cold nature, he could actually really warm up to people if they would give him a chance. Not many had done so in the past due to stigmatisation, but the Swinub was not among them. He could see behind the facade and appreciate the warm core of Van behind the frame of dark ice.

"Of course." He responded with confidence, not minding he had no type advantage this time. It was time to finally step out of the training shoes anyway, right? Sometimes, you had to face disadvantegous situations, and the sooner you learned to deal with them, the better. Kaslin spoke up to him, and what he had to propose made Van grin widely. "That's great!" He exclaimed with a tone of appreciation. Kaslin having Mud Sport would keep his behind safe from a lot of damage, despite it being a little bit dirty. And while Odor Sleuth would likely not be useful, Tackle was always a trusty attack. "Sounds good to me." He added, leaning backwards a little. 

"I got a variety of offensive moves, though none of them will be super effective against purely electric type pokemons. Which is not a bad thing thought, after all, you should get in a few hits as well, right?" He stated himself with a carefree attitude, not minding he would not crush the dungeon this time like he did always before. 

Once again, Kaslin spoke up, revealing how he felt about this whole situation between them. Determination fueld his spirit, but anxiety held it back. He needed help, which made Van feel glad he was there ofr him. "Hey, no problem." He said with a suddenly rather gentle tone. "But realize you just helped yourself by accepting help. Without your resolve and will to get stronger, we might have simply parted ways and things would be the same as before." He explained him, wishing for Kaslin to recognize that his part of the story was more than half the fight of transcending his anxiety. All Van had done was give him a hand that he could choose to take to get up and going.

Shaking himself a little, he chuckled about the fact he had sounded so sappy; but hey, could not help the truth. Taking a leg off the bench, he shifted his gaze back to Kaslin and shrugged. "So, let's get going then?" He asked him, feeling like they should use the sudden surge of bravado before it would be consumed by uncertainty again. 

[Kaslin]

If Only I Was Stronger

Kaslin perked up and finally after all this time of lying down on the bench stood up on his little feet and smiled at Van as he described all the battle theories and how things worked. Sure he had known most of these or heard them but as they left Van's mouth he couldn't help but take them in more and more, Van was starting to be like a Older Brother to Kaslin he was really starting to look up to the Dark Ice type Pokemon who was uncharacteristically nice. Kaslin was actually getting excited to go back to the Dojo, his whole thought process had changed it such a short time, going from never wanting to go back to being unable to wait.

Then as Van moved on to start talking about how him accepting the help has in turn helped himself, the smile faded into a quizzical look as he began to think. Was that true? Was he really helping himself? Kaslin didn't really understand these wise words but they made him feel good nonetheless. "Thank you Van. You have really helped me. I've... I've never had a friend before and... I hope it's ok... if I call you a friend." Under his fur his cheeks were definitely a bright pink but he looked away and looked up at the Regigias statue and smiled.

"With your help, I'm sure I'm going to get stronger."

Vanitas

[Vanitas]

Van beheld how the Swinub got up on his feet, making him get up back on his feet as well and stand in front of the bench. After all, he and his 'disciple' still had training to attend to, right? They were definetly excited to undergo their training no, so there was reason for them to hesitate. They had to use the current cheerfulness of the Swinub before it would fade again. It sounded nasty to abuse an emotional state for efficiency, but considering what they were doing for Kaslin here, it was acceptable this once. They had to consolidate his positivity to become a commonplace aspect of his life.

Van had to chuckle when he saw how his sappy words had perplexed Kaslin a little, requiring him to think hard about them. Guess he went a little bit overbored there, but perhabs he would realize what Van had meant once they had vanquished a couple of feral pokemons. And despite that, the Kaslin's gratitude towards him had vanished, which made Van feel proud. "Sure thing, friend. And no problem." He responded, easy-going as ever. While Kaslin had not been his first friend, Roamer took that spot, he liked to have the Swinub as his third pokemon to cover his back. Nix was the second one.

"Once again, sure thing." He said when Kaslin displayed his certainty of becoming stronger alongside Van. The Sneasel's pride had now reached maximum levels, making him stand very firmly. He kind of felt like a big brother to the Swinub who seemed to take him as a role model. If Van could make an explorer out of him, that would fill his cold heart with a never ceasing flame of aspiration. 

But for now, he simply waited for Kaslin to finally get off the bench to get going. 

[Kaslin]

If Only I Was Stronger

Jumping off of the bench with Van he was still only tiny and could probably end up sitting on the Sneasel's shoulder. Though he did not do this as it would be quite demeaning to himself he looked up at the Sneasel and smiled, the smiles were starting to come out more and more often as he became more comfortable with his new friend. Kaslin was still a little scared of going back to the Dojo after his last little run in there but he felt as though with Van by his side he could do it and he was sure that the Sneasel would protect him.

At the mention of Vanitas calling him a friend Kaslin shook a little, he had never had a friend before and no one even consider him something of the sort so the feeling that he had someone who would look out for him and even train him to be stronger was surreal. Not wanting to think too far ahead he didn't think of what they would do after the dojo or if they would even go more than once but if this went well maybe he will have painted himself a good image to Van and maybe he would gain more friends... All in time.

Vanitas

[Vanitas]

Van was not concerned about the fact that Swinub's were small pokemons. Being small had its advantages, and once he involved into a Piloswine and Mamoswine, he would be have a massive frame anyway. What was of concern to the Sneasel however was the increasing amount of blithfulness in Kaslin's face. He had really shattered the ice around his cold heart, and now, they only had to make sure it would not freeze over again. And to accomplish that,they would go to the dojo and fight alonside each other while covering the back of each other. 

The Sneasel noticed Kaslin shaking briefly when Van called him a friend, something the Swinub had likely not heard a lot before. Neither did Van, though he was not so sensitive about the subject. Van had not thought about what to do after the dojo dungeon, though it would likely involve some relaxation and huge piles of food, just the way he liked it. But that was for later.

Giving his new friend Kaslin a nod, he took a few steps away from the bench and twitched with his talons, implying he should follow him. They were going to do this, and they would learn from it. He was honestly excited having a sort of... student. Hopefully, he was a good teacher. 

[End Thead]